Bleak Universe
Part VI

VOICE: (coming from outside) Gah! D*MNIT!
MICK: (getting himself up from off the floor) Ah Sh*T that was me wasn't it.
OSCAR: At least you sure showed... that guy. (pointing)
MICK: Yeah, well- see? That's what i'm going to do... to the bad guy? See?
AARON: Accidently hit him with a chair?
MICK: (gets up, goes back over to where he was, realizes his chair is outside, sits on the floor)

(KYLE walks in holding a bunch of fragmented pieces of wood in his hands)

(He eyes ROGER who is settling into the floor, with a nasty bruise on his forehead)

KYLE: I found your chair. (dumps the wood onto MICK, then limps to the otherside of the room)

Bleak Universe
Part VI

ROGER: WHAT?! Whoa whoa, there's no way, you didn't even tell me that i was-
ST: (cupping a hand over his ear)What's that? Let him hit you? You got it!
ROGER: (throwing up his hands)Fine! Whatever, i'll duck ok?
ST: (rolls die, then looks up towards MICK) Nice job mick, the weasel tried to slip out of the way but you nailed him across the room and into a chair. He goes out.
MICK: HELL YEAH!
ROGER (smacking MICK) What are you doin man!? That was ME!
MICK: Wha?
OSCAR: (laughing) He's lying! Finish him off!
MICK: What? **ck This is effed up. So can i **cking see now?
ST: (inching seat backwards) Um, why yes, yes you can.
MICK: Great. Where is this **cker?
ST: Um, he's in the corner, but...
MICK: (interrupting) I'm gonna run up to him, and shove my bat up his *ss! His **cking *ss! You hear me?!
ST:(meekly) Um, I hear you. It's just that your paralyzed from the powder and moving is a bit tricky right...
MICK: *UCK THAT!! I'll fight it off! THIS *ITCH ISN'T GOING TO *UCK WITH ME ANYMORE!
ST:(putting up the storyteller screen so the group can only see his eyes) Oh... ok (rolls one die) Well... You start crawling across the room, as the poison is starting to affect you hard, and...
MICK: (leaping to his feet and picking up a chair) NO! I TOLD YOU, *UCK THAT! RUN ACROSS THE ROOM AND BUST A CHAIR RIGHT INTO HIS CANDY-*SS-

(MICK races across the room, carrying the chair over his head, he trips on something, tumbles over RICK sitting on the ground and launches his chair straight out of a window. There is a shout of surprise and pain from that direction)

OSCAR: Head?
AARON: I can't believe that just happened.
ST: (Jerking to his feet) Who was that?

Bleak Universe
Part VI

ROGER: WHAT?! Whoa whoa, there's no way, you didn't even tell me that i was-
ST: (cupping a hand over his ear)What's that? Let him hit you? You got it!
ROGER: (throwing up his hands)Fine! Whatever, i'll duck ok?
ST: (rolls die, then looks up towards MICK) Nice job mick, the weasel tried to slip out of the way but you nailed him across the room and into a chair. He goes out.
MICK: HELL YEAH!
ROGER (smacking MICK) What are you doin man!? That was ME!
MICK: Wha?
OSCAR: (laughing) He's lying! Finish him off!
MICK: What? **ck This is effed up. So can i **cking see now?
ST: (inching seat backwards) Um, why yes, yes you can.
MICK: Great. Where is this **cker?
ST: Um, he's in the corner, but...
MICK: (interrupting) I'm gonna run up to him, and shove my bat up his *ss! His **cking *ss! You hear me?!
ST:(meekly) Um, I hear you. It's just that your paralyzed from the powder and moving is a bit tricky right...
MICK: *UCK THAT!! I'll fight it off! THIS *ITCH ISN'T GOING TO *UCK WITH ME ANYMORE!
ST:(putting up the storyteller screen so the group can only see his eyes) Oh... ok (rolls one die) Well... You start crawling across the room, as the poison is starting to affect you hard, and...
MICK: (leaping to his feet and picking up a chair) NO! I TOLD YOU, *UCK THAT! RUN ACROSS THE ROOM AND BUST A CHAIR RIGHT INTO HIS CANDY-*SS-

(MICK races across the room, carrying the chair over his head, he trips on something, tumbles over RICK sitting on the ground and launches his chair straight out of a window. There is a shout of surprise and pain from that direction)

OSCAR: Head?
AARON: I can't believe that just happened.
ST: (Jerking to his feet) Who was that?

Bleak Universe
Part VI

ST: Ok, Mick you're at 14 health, Roger, youre at 3.
ROGER: What? 3? How did that happen?
OSCAR: Remember the part wher eyou kept getting smashed in the face? That tends to... Rick, y ou want to take this one?
RICK: Facial trauama has a negative impact on overall phsyiological healthiness.
OSCAR: Yeah, that.
ROGER: I know WHY, dimwit. I just want to know HOW. How is this guy hitting both of us at the same time?
ST: Ok everyone, you all get hit with some sort of powder in your face, that makes you feel sleepy.
MICK: F*CK! I'll keep punching him!
OSCAR: Yeah, that'll make you less tired.
ST: On the good side, the effect from the light is starting to wear off and you're starting to get vision back.

OSCAR: Really? Sweet. It's times like these I wish i had a drum.
ROGER: A drum? But why?
MICK: Again! I'll kick his ass again! Damn isnt he going down yet?
ST: Roger, you get your vision back, and you see that Mick's fist is heading straight for your mouth.

OSCAR: At least it's not heading for the other opening.

(Everyone stops, jaws agape and stares at him)

OSCAR: His...ears?

Bleak Universe
Part VI

RICK: SO i cannot observe my surroundings?
St: Nope, blind as a bat.
MICK: "Gah, my F*ckin eyes! WHo are you?" (I'll like wander around and swing my fists)
ST: Um... ok. (rolls die)
ST:The man says "I'm the tooth fairy"
OSCAR: "Tooth fairy? I don't know... you're voice is awful gruff for the tooth fairy. Is there something you'd like to share with the class?"
ST: He kicks you "Shut up!"
ROGER: "So we can't see anything?"
ST: "Not a thing. Nothing else is happening currently though."
ROGER: Screw it. I'm gonna search aroudn blindly too. "Let's get 'em Mick!"
MICK: "Hell yeah!"
ST: Ok, Roger, you feel your fist smack something hard and fleshy.
KELLY: "EWWwWW!"
ROGER:"Yea! Take that, BIATCH!"
ST: (casually) So, Oscar, what are you going to do this round?
OSCAR:"Cry that I can't see?"
(ST nods)
(ST walks around the room, drinks some water)
ST: How about you Aaron, actions?
AARON: Actions, like what? I guess i'll just crawl across the floor and try to find Kelly.
ST: (Nodding sagely.)
(St looks over at ROGER, who is practically frothing at the mouth in aniticpation)
(ST ponders for a moment, and then turns to MICK)
ST: Mick, someone punches you in the face
MICK: WHat?!?!! I'll kill him! I'll punch that guy who punched me!
OSCAR: "Hey Mr. glowing balls guy, can you get me some popcorn? I can't even see what's going on, and this is still the funniest thing i've ever seen."

Bleak Universe
Part VI

ST: "Are you going to open this door or not, sir? I just want to ask you a few questions, make sure you're ok."
OSCAR: More like have his gun ask us a few questions.
ROGER: "Guys, you gotta give me something. I can't just sit here forever. That cop is going to get all kungfu on us in a minute."
OSCAR: "Well if he doesn't notice headless trick or treaters, he's got to be blind enough so taht we can just run up and tip him over."
RICK: "I postulate that he is using subterfuge to obfuscate his true motivations for asking admittance."
OSCAR: "You're right! It's so simple!"

(RICk looks confused.)

OSCAR: "He's asking 'admittance' not so he can bust our zealous baseball player for sending a little girl to the after life, no no, not at all it's because....


OSCAR: "He's a vampire! He HAS to ask us to come in!"
KELLY: Really? he is? Is there a vampire on the other side of the door? A vampire policeman?

ROGER: (whispering)How did you ever get her to come back?
AARON:(whispering back, I told I would hold down OSCAR while she kicked him later)
ROGER: Nice.

EVERYONE stops and looks at ROGER.

ST: What's nice?

OSCAR looks over from where he was making fake fangs in front of his mouth with two fingers to the tune of a squealing kelly)

ROGER: Er, nothing. I'm just going to open the stupid door.

ST: Really? Ok. SO, what happens now, is that... (looking gleefull)
ROGER: Er, that is, i mean, i open the door in the figrative sense, by opening... doors of... communication!

ST: Nice try. The cop pushes open the door and holds up a glowing orb, a red arrow sigil suddenly manifests in the center of it, and then it flashes bright white, and everyone falls over, blinded.

KELLY: "What? What's wrong? Why did he do that? What was that?"
OSCAR: "Oh you know, just his standard police-issued magic arrow orb."

Bleak Universe
Part VI

ROGER: "Now that has got to be a trick question".
ST: The police officer says "WHy sir? It's a simple question. Have you seen anything strange happening out here tonight?"
OSCAR: I'll whisper "Do NOT let him in."
AARON: Didn't he notice the headless girl sitting on the porch?
OSCAR: I guess they don't make cops like they used to.

Bleak Universe
Part VI

ST: That's good. Put the chair down now, great.
OSCAR: But, but... 'KELLY MAD'!
AARON: You're NOT helping.
OSCAR: My apologies, Mrs. Kelly.
AARON; (pondering) But that doesn't even make any sense...
ROGER: (holding up fingers in a square to frame Kelly) There is a small SheHulk resemblance.
KELLY: FINE! All of yoU! I hate you all! (drops chair, runs out of room)

door slams.
OSCAR: (pondering) I take it back, she reminds me of someone else. (Looking at RIck)
Rick: What?
OSCAR: ANYWAY... (rubbing hands together) So, what shall we do with the headless ghost-girl currently splashing fluids and brain matter into our house?

AARON: (glarign knives at Oscar) Maybe we should have you go visit her in the after life. (he gets up and leaves after Kelly)

Everyone is staring at ROGER and OSCAR
ROGER: Hey, it's not my fault. H brought it up (pointing at OSCAR)
OSCAR: WHat? (sighing) Ok fine, so i'm a bit over the top, but come ON. She needs to relax.

Bleak Universe
Part VI

MICK: YO! Roger- you know this psycho chick? Could you get her off me?
KELLY: Ihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyou (wacking with fists)
ROGER: (throwing up hands) Hey man, I got no clue.

(slowly, everyone starts looking at AARON)

AARON: What?
OSCAR: You have Kelly's leash don't you?

Kelly: (stopping and looking over at OSCAR) WHAT?!

OSCAR (looking over at ROGER and saying it LOUDLY) Roger! How dare you imply that Kelly is like Aaron's puppy dog! That's just low man. Even for you.

(KELLY sees red and picks up a chair)
ROGER: (to OSCAR while ducking) I hate you.

__________________________________

I know i know, the kelly thing is getting a little over done. Hey i did stupid before, I'm just getting started on Crazy. Come on. And anwyay, mostly I just look in my head to see what's there and splash it out on page. Hopefully i'll find something more intersting to go with. Hmm. Maybe the whole "dead trick or treater on porch" arch has potential. Haha.

Bleak Universe

Part VI

KELLY: He KILLED a trick or treater?
OSCAR: (nodding eagerly) In the face. With a baseball bat.
KELLY: WHy?
OSCAR: (helpfully) It was a little girl. She probablly had blonde pigtails
KELLY: Ohhhhhh
OSCAR: And like, a "Helly Kitty" T-Shirt
KELLY: (seeing red) You BASTARD! (hitting MICK in a gimp kind of way) I'll kill you!
MICK: Dude, she was fake anyway, made up! Who cares?! (trying to slide away)
KELLY: I care! You can't kill cute little girls! It's not right, even the idea of it!
OSCAR: So if she were really ugly under that mask.
RICK: Judging from the way the sheet dips over the right hemisphere of her skull, it is likely that 50 percent of her head has caved in, which will liekly result in severe aesthetic deficiencies.

AARON looks at OSCAR
OSCAR: (whisperign) SHe's fugly now.
AARON: (to RICK)DUde, how do you even KNOW that? He never even told us what she looks like!

KELLY is chasing MICK around the room, striking him with a Harry Potter book.

OSCAR: Man, if she gets this worked up about virtual kiddies, just think what would happen if he killed a REAL little girl. SHe'd probablly beat HIS brains in with Harry Potter.
AARON: You're kindof disturbing sometimes.
OSCAR: I try.