Bleak Universe, Chapter 1



STORYTELLER: Ok is everyone here?

KELLY: Roger has to work late, he'll be here later.
ST:(sighs) Fine, ok. Oh Well, he can start when he gets here.
Ok, you all stand in a street at night, with one fading lamp post in one corner.

OSCAR- Who's talking? I mean, who are you supposed to be?
ST: I'm the storyteller.
OSCAR: Yeah I know, but who are you in the story? YOu always tell us to be "in character" right? So what character are you?
ST:Well yes but- What? What do you mean? I'm the story teller, I don't have an actual role unless I'm doing an NPC. I just let you know what everything looks like and what's happening. Otherwise how would you know?
OSCAR:...
ST: OK? ok. So, anyway-
OSCAR:You can be the lamp post.
ST: The LAMP POST?
KELLY: Wait, so he's the lamp post? Really? You never told us we could be inanimate objects! Give me a pencil, I'm changing my sheet. I want to be a stuffed animal.
ST: (rolling eyes) Let's just try it the way we wrote it this time, eh? I mean, it was a four hours well spent.
RICK- Can we go already? I am prepared.
ST: Yeah, we can't wait anymore. Ok. Everyone want to describe their characters?
AARON: Ok. My guy has like... um what are those hats called? Like you wear them tip forward, and they have three sides?
ST: A brown leather tricorn hat?
KELLY: That was kind of specific.
AARON:And he has a white silk shirt, like what they used to wear like a long time ago, you know in the Car- um, in warm... areas. And he wears
ST: (bored) A black revolver, a rapier with a black strap, a red hand band with a hanging gold medallion, and dread locks.
AARON: Uh.. Yeah... yeah... kinda.
KELLY: WOW! How did he know? That's really amazing.
ST: Oh, not that amazing.
AARON: But he doesn't have a revolver. This is supposed to be modern times, right?
ST: That's right. So what's his name?
AARON: Oh It's Jac...ob Sp... Arrow. It's Jake Arrow.
ST: That was beautiful. THank you.
KELLY: What was?
OSCAR: (whisper) Say "not you".
ST: Um- Not
OSCAR: (whisper) you. not you!
ST: Not... nothing.
OSCAR: So if it was not nothing, then it was...
ST: Whatever. How about you?
OSCAR: He's a teenager, wearing chains, a leather jacket, and a t-shirt with the anarchist symbol on the front. He's 8 feet tall, 300 pounds, and is carrying a club in one hand.
ST: And he's a teenager?
AARON: Oh! And he also has a coin purse, and a belt, a slick black goatee, and sharp eyes that look like they were touched up with masquera, and
ST: OK, ok that's good Aaron, perfect. I think-
OSCAR: And i have a little trick flower on the end of my coat.
ST: Oh.Well, I-
RICK:As for me, I am shrouded in a deep cloak. THat is all you need know.
OSCAR:... Ok, i'll squirt him with my flower.
ST: Um... ok, why?
OSCAR: I just am.
RICK: Really? Did he really just do that?
ST: Yeah, I guess. You have water on your face now.
RICK: Ok, wow. DOes my inner incarnated spirit of pure hatred manifested as a incandescent black shroud of evil activate yet? YOu want the stats for that? Let's see, 35 plus the equipment modifier...
ST: Um, you all start off as human. YOu don't have that yet.



And that was the first episode of an idea for a role playing parody I have called "Mismatched", i think it will have to be in script form. We were hoping to get an artist, actually. Paul and I have a ton of ideas for it. But, lacking that, I'll just post some stuff up here in script format. I dunno what the legal considerations would be. If it ever matters which it probablly won't,I think what I might do is the classic parody tactic of hiding behind the fair use act via name changes where its close but not exactly using it. :shrug: At the last it should be fun, and maybe give me ideas of how else I can use it. It's kindof all the rage to do 4th wall role playing game comics, and i feel the urge to try. I feel like there's still yet room for variation in certain fields :)

This is going to be me experimenting mostly. So try not to jump down my throat with spelling errors and such. General impressions would be cool. If I like it enough maybe i'll try doing somethng with it. Though I got no idea what. The best would be if i found an artist.

First, a bit of a "guest" thefunny, from my friend, Ashia. This came from a recent aim convo i had with her. She has a recent obsession with writing for an advice column.

The guy asking for advice is supposed to be me.

_____________________________________________________________________________________


"Dear The Ashia,

I think I have a chemical imbalance because i'm depressed all the time and always doubt myself. What should I do? Also, I'm a dirty hippy with a beard"
"Signed,
Sad-in-ssss..marshfield"


"Dear Senior sad,
Have you tried heroin? I heard that makes everything much better. And then much worse like, 5 minutes later. Either way, it'll put the past, when you were depressed, into perspective, since you will become a low-down dirty junkie. If you shave the beard though, you could be a trendy rockstar. I'd aim for shaving the beard"


***
And, one more for good measure

TehAshia: Anyway, come up wtih some quandries you have like "how do I get the caulk on my tub to stop turning black" or "how do i find a nice guy to settle down with?" or "how do i get my cat to stop puking up furballs?"
Mitchman: for a second i thought that read "stop puking up fireballs"
TehAshia: those too
TehAshia: we have to keep an extra extinguisher in every room with upholstered furnitre
TehAshia: we've gone through 3 couches







Updates coming back again. It's good practice. PLus, ir eally think i can compile it someday. I read a few entries and I actually laughed myself. I mean, some of the stuff made me yawn, sure. Bu ti i do think i have some gold. i love the narrarator's "dis"es in my old 4th wall story. "If the old apparation Marley were to appear to you in this condition, he'd be greeted with an altercation and blows to the face". Haha. Lol. Maybe i'm the only one who thinks i'm funny