Copyright law is the stupidest thing ever. You can't so much as post a picture of a chicken in an article you sell online without:

Asking the chicken's permission, asking the farmer who own's the chicken's permission, asking the owner of the windmill in the background's permission, asking the permission of the jet company that owns the jet that appears as a tiny speck in the background of the picture, etc., ad nauseum.

Maybe it's good I didn't become a lawyer after all. Although if there is a hell, there should be a separate lawyer hell, and copyright lawyers should be right at the bottom. There, they are made to take pictures of eachother to post in daily updated blogs, with proper permission obtained, of course.

The only real thing I can do with impunity is take pictures of myself. I should just take pictures of myself typing and be like "this is how you type up an essay!"

One thing I do for a living while I'm not coming up with glorious one-liners for this blog, is edit student papers as a tutor. I work for a service, and not specific students as clients most of the time. This means that each student gets about 20 minutes. This is not a lot of time to read the essay, make suggestions, send it back to them, and talk about why their grammar makes me cry.

Ipso facto, students who tell me to "check everything" when I ask what they want me to look for in their essay that looks like a drunk hamster wrote it as a side effect from running across a keyboard, well- it is irritating.

Check everything? Really? Absolutely everything?

Careful now, wayward student. I'm planning on going to grad school for creative writing, you may not want to give me carte blanche to check everything I can think of.

It makes me want to check their paper from the perspective of a Japanese speaker, pointing out that the only words I recognized in their paper were "ninja" "samurai" and "no", this last being not used as a verb at all.

I would check for every single informal fallacy, and point out all of them in excruciating detail. I would point out to them that i checked their paper for heroic verse, and that the feet, meter, and rhyming scheme were all wrong, as well as a suspicious lack of an epic central hero, unless you count them on their daring adventures involving their class trip to a museum, which I don't. Unless they beheaded a tour guide, in which case, maybe.

Awesome English translation quotes-

"You cannot run away from extreme strike sensation." (-"Rakion" ad, an online video game).

This sounds like it could be a threat. Or maybe a come-on? I'm not sure.

"In fact, that there are plenty of people who have wilf like base arrangement in the process of dna antidoting, is found in 2010..." ("Wolf team" ad, another online game.)

I love how that second one makes it seem like they're picking up in the middle of a conversation you've never had. What? Don't you remember asking about 'Wilf-like' people? I'm sure you did...