Bleak Universe
Part 3(forever)
AARON:If you guys are all done being jerks, I'll open the door now.
ST: Really? (leans forward with excitement) Well then, as soon as you open the door-
AARON: Uh. Did i say open the door? I mean "look around the house carefully, keeping an eye out for traps of any sort"
RICK: I am not a Jerk.
KELLY: Wait! We weren't going to make out! This is a game (she looks aorund) Isn't it?
OSCAR: ... I don't know if I can even top that.
ST: Ok. (rolls a die) Ok. You're sure that it's not bobby-trapped or anything.
AARON: Ok. I guess I'll knock on the door this time.
ST: Ok. From inside you hear "Hold on hold on I'm cohming I'm cohming!"
AARON:... Riiight. So does he get there?
ST: Not yet.
AARON: I'll knock again.
ST: Ok right as your knocking again he opens the door "Ok ok!, what do you want already?! Oy, you'd think Sheol itself was opening up at your feet!
AARON: (taken aback) Uh... hi.
KELLY: (whispering to AARON, why is he talking like that?)
AARON: (whispering back) I have no idea)
ST: "Hey! What are you two talking about down there? You get me out of my bed at 3 in the morning and all you can do is sit here lolligagging at my door? Oy ve. " He begins closing the door.
AARON: No, wait! I, er- We- had a question.
ST: "Yes? What is it? I'm listening!"
Kelly starts giggling.
Oscar is dying with laughter.
OSCAR:Your accent is horrible.
ST: Hey, shut up. I'm doing the best I can.
ST: "Hurry up with the talking! Else i'm going to schlep on back to bed, I have to be at temple at 6 in the morning tommorrow dontcha know!"
AARON: Er, ok. I'll say "Who are you sir?"
ST: "My name is SHMOIDRECK! The MAGICIAN already!" He flourishes.
AARON stares back, looking dumbstruck.
ST: "Oy ve! You young people and your wasting my time, I ought to set you-
AARON: Why are you so...
ST: "Yes?"
AARON:... (mumbles something incomprehensible)
OSCAR who is nearby AARON in the room laughs all the harder, so tears come out of his eyes.
AARON:... Jewish?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Apparently, artists all have like tattoos of oriental dragons on their biceps and mac lap tops attatched to their backs via messanger bags. So if you have any of these things, God will light you on fire if you don't contact me.
Ok. Maybe that's a lie. He'll probablly light me on fire for saying so. But hey, you know- it's all the same to the viewers.
Bleak Universe FUNFACT!
Shmoidreck sure sounds far-fetched doesn't he? Like a total stereo type that is so offensive that no one would ever dream of actually-
WRONG!
He is based on a character from an old animation called "The Last Unicorn" that was on Tv the other day. You should watch it sometime when you're drunk or dying of a rare disease or something. It's hilarious. "Schmendrick" has a huge nose, and his lines are very clearly meant to be highly yiddish-sounding, though the voice actor tries valiantly to fight it.
My version probablly needs work. I should study the movie more. Haha.
Schlep on Shmendrick
Schlep on brother.
posted by Mitch @ 11:51 PM
2 Comments:
Yo this is___________ and i read this chapter. and, I also read all inbetween from my last comment. it's going well. that new jewish character makes me think of Jeff Goldblum's father in Independence Day. I do feel that the opening of that door was drawn out a little bit.
Hmm. The masked __________ strikes again. My modified guess is that You are Nov.
Hmmm, you're probablly right, it was a little drawn out. Mostly because I was trying to set up the joke at the end. (I write a LOT of stuff out of order. Like i'll come up with a punch line first and then fill in stuff in between to set it up properly) During the editing stages I'll shorten that piece a little maybe. I can probablly get to it quicker.
I think I'm making Kelly a little too dumb beyond believable. I should start doing something more interesting with her. Though, I must admit, I love the timing with Kelly. I always think to have her figure something out like 3 paragraphs later. It's great.
One thing that I like, is it's hard to criticize me for my characters (you know getting hit with the 'bigotry' label) because I'm more satirizing the way people PORTRAY stereotypes, rather than giving the stereotypes themselves power. Some of my characters are still a bit in stereotype land, certainly. Especially Kelly and Rick. AARON i think is quickly moving away from the "brainless copycat" though I think, and Oscar a bit away from just the mischevious jerk.
Hehe. Cool. All this stuff will be helpful if I ever go back through everything again.
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