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Bleak Universe Part 3

KELLY: That's right, right?
ST:(sighs deeply). No. NO that's not it.
OSCAR: We've been at this for THREE HOURS. Can we grab a break? I don't think I can take any more stupidity.
KELLY: Shut up! I'm gonna kick him. Can i kick him?
ST: Ok, go get a drink or something everyone.
(OSCAR, AARON and RICK file out)
KELLY: Me too?
ST: No, i just want to see if we can sort this out real quick.

ST: Ok. So, Kelly.
KELLY: Yes?
Let's do that last scene again, so that maybe I can illustrate what the rest of us are having trouble with.
KELLY: Oh. Otay.
ST: (sharply inhales as if about to say something, then changes his mind)... Right. So, you're at the address that Sam's character found in the cell last time, yes?
KELLY: Did everyone else go there?
ST: Yep.
KELLY: THen yes, I go there too.
ST: You know, Kelly, you don't have to do what everyone else does, if you don't want to. Or even what they tell you to do.
KELLY: Oh i know.
ST: Ok. So what are you going to do now?
KELLY: I'll go to the door and put my hand on the handle.
ST: Ok. And then?
KELLY: ANd then what?
ST: Er, are you going to like, well maybe say- open the door?
KELLY: Hmmm. (shrugs) I don't know!
St:...
KELLY:Well, I heard people talking and stuff about something earlier. And stuff. So, is there a vampire on the otherside of the door?
ST: (shocked stupid) A... a vampire? WE don't even have vampires in this sto-But that's not the point. How in the name of wacky midgets would you know that?
KELLY: I don't. That's why I'm asking you.
ST: Who? There's no one else around, the other characters are all...(wry) bravely hiding in the bushes.
KELLY: What do you mean? I'm asking you.
ST: Who? Is tha twhat your character says? There aren't any invisible people around or anything.
KELLY: You! I'm asking you! (she points at ST)
ST: Oh. Um. You can't.
KELLY: But i just did.
ST: No I mean. Tell me what your CHARACTER does, not you. I don't exist in your story. I'm just like an interpreter. I'm like the TV.
(Kelly stares blankly)
ST: Ok. Nevermind. I don't know hwo to explain this. I'll just do it out and maybe you'll catch on taht way. Ok. SO what do you do again? Open the door?
KELLY: Not yet. I want to know if there are any vampires on the other side of the door first.
ST: (with a forced calm) NO. None that you can see. But then again, there may possibly be a DOOR impeding you looking in.
KELLY: OKay. So if i open the door will anything bad happen?
ST: There's no response.
KELLY: Huh?
ST: No one says anything.
KELLY: What? Will anything bad happen?
ST: (rubbing nose with forfinger and thumb) Ok screw this. A voice on the otherside says "No, nothing bad will happen to you, just come right into a stranger's house for no reason without calling or even knocking on the door first, that should be REAL safe in every way, and no one over here will spit any acid on you for being totally retarded."
KELLY: Oh ok. I'll do that then.