Ok. Well i struggled with whether to even try writing this for like 2 hours now, and I think I should- maybe precisely because it seems so pointless.

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'I heard rough housing going on in there, what was that? I'm coming in, are you decent?" Jason's mom called, her voice a shrill screech.

"No wait, i'm naked!" Jason called in response, his state of full dress not apparent to his mother due to the closed door.

God, I can't wait to get our of here, Jason thought to himself, his fists clenching.

"Huh? You can read what I'm thinking? Now that is screwed up, man."

It may strike you, gentle reader, as odd that a hero with as facile a wit as our hero, would take so long to understand so simple a concept as a nararrator.

"Oh screw you paranoid schizophrenia. Here, take a gander at what I'm thinking right now."

Obviously frustrated at his virgin lifestyle in which he still lives with his mother, our hero begins to imagine the gratitous pleasure he could gain from fornicating with his bed post.

"Har har. if you had a body I would fornicate this bed post right up your-"

But our hero's mother chose that moment to knock sharply on the door, and announce her ensuing entry.

"Shhhhh, shut up" Our hero said to the empty air, right as his mother opened the door.

"Oh, so you think i should shut up do you? Well young man, I think that" she began, her anger obviously growing. But then she stopped as her eyes alighted on the half-invisible closet door.

"What is this? When did I tell you that you could go around making alterations to your room? Well? Because i most certainly don't remember giving you permission to go around destroying things in your room whenever you feel the need-"

Yes of course. I "made alterations" to my room. I "destroyed" my closet door with a hammer that left it still solid, and completely even on one side. Are you sure your readers really need to hear all this, O might narrarator?" Our hero thought to himself, having finally caught on to his predicament.

Later that day, our hero went to his local community college.

"Sweet, I don't remember anything! I take it back, youa re one sweet m-fer after all."

"I appreciate the sentiment Mr. Mathews, but I'm not into young men who use vulgarity. Now sit the hell down." SnappedMrs. Stevens, our hero's Lit Comp teacher, as our hero was now standing in the middle of class.

NExt time warn me about that, jackass, our hero thought, sitting down.