I was at work once, strugglinng to find a reason why over a thousand pieces of glass fruit should exist. The cause for this quandry was mostly because I had spent several hours straight stocking glass apples, glass bananas, glass papayas, and every other type of glass fruit imaginable.
Why on earth would anyone pay $5.99 for a glass apple you ask? Well I asked myself the very same question that night. And during my time of stocking the glass delicacies, I began hallucinating. I imagined that a tall man walked in the store. He was thin, seven feet tall, and wearing a hat.
Also he was made completely out of glass, including his hat. He would walk in, his feet making that tinkling glass sound on the ground, tip his hat and then buy a delicious glass apple. He'd polish it on his glass shirt, making shards of glass fly everywhere, then take a bite out of it and saunter off, melting into the glass window.
And then i'd wake up, and realize that i'd tried eating a glass apple and was bleeding from the mouth.
Ok that last part was a lie.
posted by Mitch @ 9:08 PM
5 Comments:
He can have foam in there I guess for the joints. And his feet are made of adamantine glass. So they don't break.
And he can't reproduce, he was animated by a Glass wizard. You know, like a gargoyle.
Oh the lonely life of a glass man.
The glass man was walking by a church one day, and fell in love with a woman in a stained-glass window. He marveled at her beauty and spoke to her kindly, even bringing her delicious glass fruits, but she could never respond to him nor accept his gracious gifts. He knelt before the window and promised her the same movement and thought as he himself had been blessed with, and spent long years searching for the Glass wizard. One day the glass man found him at a renaissance fair, joyfully messing with glass blowers, encouraging their glass dragons to fly off before they could be exorbitantly sold. He breathlessly begged him to animate his silent, unmoving love. The Glass wizard snickered at first, but finally agreed to his request. The glass man rejoiced, dressed in his best glass clothing and prepared a sumptious glass feast for his soon to be awakened love. The glass wizard performed his incantations with a smirk on his face, but the glass man did not notice for his gaze was locked on the blissful, contented eyes of his glass beauty. But then, the eyes opened with a shock, and looked around wildly. The glass woman attempted a step forward, but instead tottered backward with a scream and was dashed upon the floor of the church, scattering into a thousand glittering glass pieces, along with the glass baby she had been holding. The glass man wailed with grief and leapt after her, but he was too late to save but the smallest shard of his shattered dream. The Glass wizard looked on with malicious amusement, chuckling to himself over the pain he had caused his naive creation. The glass man, who had never before harmed a soul, roared with anger and pitched his finest glass apple with all his might into the face of his mocking tormenter. The Glass wizard was dead, and the glass man, realizing what he had done, bowed his head and wandered between the two crumpled forms, his fallen creator and lost love, crying glass tears that smashed upon the ground with a tinkle and mingled with the wizard's blood and the woman's shards. Accepting that now he was truly alone, the glass man returned to the glass fruit bazaar and picked out one last glorious glass apple in their memory. His sadness was so palpable as to be felt by the thoughtful young lad stocking glass fruit in the back room, who would remember him always.
Hahahah that's awesome. Maybe if im bored enough i'll flesh it out for you into a more complete story.
lol yeah you should, that would be uber-duber.
lol ::bows:: my first attempt at fiction in 10 years or so, thank you very much :)
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